Building Respectful Relationships Through Setting Boundaries

Tags: Building respectful boundaries in leadership; Leadership Lessons Effective Leadership; Improve Communication Skills, Soft Skills Training Workplace Wellness

Boundaries help us define what we are comfortable with and how we want to be treated.

They are not physical barriers, more conceptual and abstract practices that we put in place to honour what is important to us, and to build respectful relationships, including the relationships we have with ourselves.

For example, set clear work hours when working from home, so you have a clear transition from work to family time – if that is important to you.

Boundaries can vary in terms of importance. Some will be flexible based on circumstance, such as working with someone you have known for a while, verse someone new. Other boundaries will be solid, your non-negotiables.

A study published in the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology found that setting clear boundaries between work and personal life reduces stress and enhances job satisfaction. This is particularly crucial for leaders who are often the most affected by interruptions and the demands of their roles.

Furthermore, research from Harvard Business Review highlights that leaders who communicate their boundaries clearly are perceived as more effective and trustworthy. They also foster a more respectful and productive work environment.

Building respectful relationships is foundational to leadership. 

When you know what is important to you and what supports you to perform well you want to create boundaries to enable this highly resourceful environment for performance.

How do others know what your boundaries are?

By sharing our boundaries openly and honestly, you respectfully demonstrate to others what you stand for and seek from the relationship. This also shows self-respect by making your needs known.

Many leaders often complain about not having enough time, constant interruptions, and the resulting stress and impact on their work. But are these feelings of irritation and frustration really because of interruptions, or are they due to not sharing boundaries and expecting others to respect them without being aware?

Contemporary research highlights that by asserting and respectfully articulating your boundaries, you set standards for yourself and those around you. You become clear, kind, and respectful.

Dr. Rebecca Ray emphasizes boundaries as a means of self-care, showing compassion through clarity and care. By engaging your inner leader with honesty, you can demonstrate to others how you work best and how they can effectively collaborate with you.

Boundaries are not excuses or a way to avoid difficult tasks, they are about:

• Empowering yourself to lead your life in a way that works for you

• Showing others how to respect you, engage with you, and build a productive relationship.
• Building the foundations of your leadership brand and thriving as a leader, thus enabling your team to thrive as well.

Consider this scenario: you don’t have enough time, you are constantly interrupted, and work is not getting done. Ask yourself:
• Who is accepting the interruption?
• How important is the interruption? Could it be scheduled for later?
• What are your habits for managing your own time?

All these questions are integrated into your boundaries and way of working as a leader. By setting and sharing your boundaries, you reinforce your leadership brand and build strong relationships.

Dr. Rebecca Ray’s work emphasizes that boundaries are not about isolation but about creating a structure that supports personal well-being and professional effectiveness. By demonstrating self-respect and clarity, leaders can inspire the same in their teams.

Practical Steps to Set and Communicate Boundaries:

1. Identify Your Priorities: Understand what is most important to you and how you need to structure your time and environment to support these priorities.

2. Communicate Clearly: Share your boundaries with your team and colleagues. Explain why these boundaries are important and how they can help you work more effectively.

3. Be Consistent: Uphold your boundaries consistently to reinforce their importance and build a culture of respect.

4. Offer Alternatives: When you need to decline an interruption, propose an alternative time to address the issue, showing that you value the other person’s needs as well.

5. Reflect and Adjust: Regularly reflect on your boundaries and adjust them as necessary to ensure they continue to support your well-being and effectiveness.

By setting and communicating your boundaries you create a solid foundation for yourself to build respectful relationships and effective leadership. You also enable a work environment that respects everyone’s needs and fosters mutual respect. This not only enhances your leadership brand but also helps your team thrive.

CITATIONS

• Ray, Rebecca. The Art of Self-Care: Setting Boundaries with Compassion and Clarity. Available at Rebecca Ray.
• Harvard Business Review. The Benefits of Setting Boundaries at Work. Available at Harvard Business Review.
• Journal of Occupational Health Psychology. Boundary Management Tactics and Their Impact on Work-Life Balance. Available at APA PsycNet.
• Harvard Business Review. Why Leaders Need to Set Boundaries to Be Effective. Available at Harvard Business Review.